Fat Quest Gone Bad

“Aunty mariam, why is your tummy so flat like that of a cartoon person? Are you not a person?why is your hand so thin?”


These were the questions asked by my little five year old cousin last week. She went further to charge me to stuff myself with food so I can be as fat as her. See washing! And you know the way kids ask questions innocently…

So I decided to start a rigorous diet. If it has gotten to a point where a kid noticed that I need to add weight then I do so off to research I went.

 I got a lot of tips on how to add weight.
Some said I should eat very well. That I can handle.
Some said exercise. Some said no. I decided to go with the no.
 Some said sleep a lot. Some said no. I started sleeping any chance I got, even in class.
Some said eat junk foods others said eat normal food. I became a customer at a fast food joint.

I did an intensive one week weight gain programme just so I can fill my gown today of all days when I will be going out with my friends but what I got as a result is this...


A huge fat paunch that you see on someone with kwashiorkor.


Might I add the fact that I have never ever weighed more that forty two. Yes, I checked again after acquiring the paunch. Still forty two.
       So, to hell with valentine!