My firsts

Fried rice

The first time I saw fried rice, I was around seven years. It was at a celebration at my mum’s school where she was a vice-principal then. A feared and respected one. So naturally I was treated with caution and attention was paid to what I was given to eat by the teacher assigned to take care of me by my mum.

“What will you eat?” she asked, leaning down to hear my small, shy voice.
“Amala and Ewedu” I replied. Very shy and proper village girl.
“ Amala ke? Why not have fried rice?”

I blinked, trying to process the words "fried rice". I have heard of it from my classmates but I have not seen it. However I have a policy, “never eat an unknown dish in an unfamiliar environment” so I said no, I do not want.

“ Common, you will like it” she pressed. At that time, someone passed with a plate.
 “ Look, that is it” she pointed.

I saw a lime green rice with some black and yellow things. Not attractive at all, not like the oil and pepper food I was used to.

“No, I don’t like it” this time I was more firm.

She sighed at my extreme stupidity and went to bring me a plate of  Ewedu with a tiny speck of soup in it. Just exactly the way I hated the soup. I like same amount of both but I took it anyway.

When mum got home that night, after refreshing, she called us all to her table and said “I brought some fried rice for you” my elder ones squealed in excitement. I wondered what the fuss was about. Mum saw this and asked what I ate, I told her, “ you miss!” my sister and brother exclaimed, while my mum shushed them.

Then she guided a spoonful of the green stuff in my curious mouth. My taste buds exploded with the most delicious taste ever. By the time I opened my eyes which I had closed unconsciously to savor the taste, tears dropped in rapid succession. My brother laughed his head off and my sister tried to sympathize with me while she fought to stay sober.

I cried openly now, at the chance I lost.  The chance to eat a whole plate of fried rice with big meat.

Lesson: never decline a taste of a dish you never had before. First taste is the best.

Bank

The first time I had a business at the bank, it was my dad that sent me. When he called me and said, “go and send this money to your brother” I felt as if a bomb has exploded in me, then I was covered in goose pimples. Thoughts exploded in my head but I had no choice so I got on my way.

By the time the bus stopped at the front of the bank, I was so destabilized. I was hot and cold at the same time, I felt like I wanted to puke and then faint AND die and be taken back to my father’s hospital. I managed to drag my feet to the front of the bank. The security man looked at me and smiled like a cat will smile at a rat. I suddenly had the urge to run but I pushed forward. Luckily, it was not the age of Boko Haram, I would have been tagged as suspicious with my oversized Christmas clothes and noisy shoes.

I hunched my shoulders and pressed forward and finally reached the door. I have never seen that type of door in my life, a round door. Ah! This is gobe! I stylishly pressed my hand against it to push it to the side with my tent outfit shielding my action from the security man who by the way
suddenly seems to have a calling to watch me instead of facing his job. The door did not budge, I
pressed the two bottons by its side, it did not open. I leaned against it and tried to peer into the bank but could not see anything, I knocked like Queen Elizabeth so the amebo security man will not hear. Nothing happened.

I was there for like five minutes before the security man decided I have been tortured enough and swaggered up to me, grinning from ear to ear,
“the bank didn’t open today so the door won’t open”, and he waited, eager to see my reaction.

I was a kid and coupled with the fact that I am very shy and respectful, I could not thrash the hell out of him with my tongue. I just said thank you with a weak smile and cursed him thoroughly in my heart all the way home. I wanted to die of shame that day.

Lesson: never go on an errand without getting the full details of every damn thing you are going to
come in contact with.
Next... Is coming up