Re: Funny Toasts (Guest Post)

This is in response to your funny toasts. I had one recently and I wanted to share it. It was a funny toast quite alright but I was the clown. In case you are still wondering, I am the guy.

It happened on a sunny Friday. One of those days you just wake up feeling energized. I quickly shovelled down the left over beans that was in the kitchen and bounced out of the house to conquer the day. At about 12pm, I decided to go for a break. I was feeling adventurous so I walked in to the cafeteria near my office to scout for a nice babe, a beautiful, dark one with firm flesh in the right places. Not those light skinny ones that remind me of okporoko fish used for my native delicacies.

Say What YouThink

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Can you imagine what it would be like if everybody says what they think? Imagine the freedom!


Lets say you can tell your landlord “go to hell! Are you the only one with a house? This yeye house that I am even managing to stay in! You come dey form boss on top” Then hiss and walk away.

Glo WTH?!

I have been using Glo network since secondary school, it is my first line. I used to think we are destined together because each time I buy another line, it either gets lost, stolen or broken with my little nephew's teeth as was the case with my first Mtn line.


 So I decided to keep calm and stick with Glo. Ah! But Glo made me suffer! Is it the stealing of my airtime I want to talk about, or the yeye credit promo that was just for decoration when I check my account balance, or the night calls I have to suffer through just to talk with one of their customer care representatives?

Funny "Toasts" (3)

Hey, here comes the last of my funny "toasts". I could go on and on but let me stop here.


Fifty Shades of Grey


There was a guy that came to visit a friend of mine(who is also a guy) when I was in school. Short, dark and handsome, and he knows it. My friend had warned me about this guy’s epic escapades with girls and I told him he was exaggerating. I talked with the guy once after we were introduced and I forgot about it.

Funny "Toasts" (2)

Adultery Activist


I was going for a meeting and was walking along the street in a hurry, moving in tune with the beat of the music I was listening to through my earpiece, feeling myself and imagining I am acting out a music video. Then I saw this man who looked like Clifford Orji (still remember him? No? go google it) walking towards me.

Funny "Toasts"

One of the sayings I try to abide with is “make no excuses, just apologize”. So please accept my humble apologies for not posting any article for the past two weeks. I hope this makes up for my lapse.

Gone were the days of pimple-scarred face boys and libido-driven guys calling girls “psst, heis! Psssst!” on the streets…or so I thought. I believed that style of “toasting” was long gone (like a wannabe girl I know used to say “this is the twenty first century, duh!”).

Admission "Wahala" (BV post)

Another BV post.....sent on Friday.



I had a typical school day today. Woke up 6.am, got to class 8.am, and then lecture, lecture and more lectures. A boring, stressful day. It’s funny seeing how comfortable I am living the “school life”. Hardly would you believe, if I told you I’ve almost packed my bags and said “to hell with you” about schooling.