I have been using Glo network since secondary school, it is my first line. I used to think we are destined together because each time I buy another line, it either gets lost, stolen or broken with my little nephew's teeth as was the case with my first Mtn line.
So I decided to keep calm and stick with Glo. Ah! But Glo made me suffer! Is it the stealing of my airtime I want to talk about, or the yeye credit promo that was just for decoration when I check my account balance, or the night calls I have to suffer through just to talk with one of their customer care representatives?
One incident still stands out in my memory. I had stolen a hundred naira card from my mum’s purse (I was a secondary school student then) with the aim of chatting on Afri-chat. That is how I loaded this card and flashed my friend’s number. Then I decided to call someone else. After speaking for like 30 seconds I heard ,
“your call credit is low, please recharge”.
I screamed in anger, frustration and shock. Mum shouted from the kitchen “kini yen?!” (what’s that).
I had no choice but to say nothing. Then I went to a corner unable to stop the tears flowing down my cheeks, punched 121 in anger and cursed when I heard “ if you want hausa, press 1…”. I continued punching the stupid codes for the stupid options, it was infuriating.
Eventually, I heard “ a customer care representative will attend to you shortly”. My dear reader, “shortly” long reach 30 minutes o. by that time, it was with effort that I kept the flame of my anger burning.
But today’s own eh, is the last straw. Glo almost got me lynched.
I wanted to visit my cousin’s house this morning. I have only been there once and it was at night then, so I was not really sure of the building. Before I left home, I called him and told him I was on my way. The line was very, very clear. I could even hear him breathing.
Fast forward to when I got to his street, I called him to ask his house’s number. I heard,
" crack…we… six…crack..craaaack…brown gate…crack..quick..went out…craaaack..cra…crack.”. I was shocked, standing in the middle of a residential street with no call center in sight.
I called like five times, same result. Rather than stand while people passing will continue staring at me I decided to walk down the street checking out the houses with brown gate and number six included in their number.
When I got to number six, brown gate. “ This must be it” I thought and entered the slightly opened small gate. Immediately, I backtracked because the house looked like nothing I remember.
By the time I got to number 36, I just felt a strong hand on my shoulder,
“what are you looking for?”
I turned, and saw a giant toad, complete with bulging eyes and croaky voice, “
I… I am going..”
“Going where? Eh ehn, you are one of those people that will look innocent but sneak in houses to steal abi?”
“Wetin happen Oga Cletus?” one of the three busybodies passing asked.
“Na this girl oh, I don dey follow am dey look how she dey open gate dey check out houses”
“Ehn!”, the woman among them shouted. By this time like ten people have stopped to get the gist.
“So, fine girl like you sabi dey work wayo? Nna ehn, this life!” she ended by clapping her hands the amebo way.
“Ah!, I thought to myself, “this is heading o jungle justice!”
“ Who are you working for?” asked a soldier-like man.
“Pl…please, I am not working for..”
“What’s going on here? Hey, oga Cletus! Na my cousin you hold so? Wetin she do?” That’s my cousin, arriving in the nick of time. ( actually, his name is Nick ).
“Na your cousin?” Toad asked, then turned to me “why you no talk before?”
“Why I no talk?! Why I no talk?!” I screamed in relief and rage ,” no be here you dey hold me we I dey tell you say na my cousin I wan meet?!”
“ Why you no call am sef?” one motherly looking lady asked.
“I did! I did, the number they crack”
“Oya call am back” came a suggestion from someone.
I dialed again, set my phone to loud speaker and we heard “the number you have dialed is currently switched off…”
“But my phone is on!” exclaimed my cousin.
Globacom, thunder fire you! And I must divorce you by all means!
So I decided to keep calm and stick with Glo. Ah! But Glo made me suffer! Is it the stealing of my airtime I want to talk about, or the yeye credit promo that was just for decoration when I check my account balance, or the night calls I have to suffer through just to talk with one of their customer care representatives?
One incident still stands out in my memory. I had stolen a hundred naira card from my mum’s purse (I was a secondary school student then) with the aim of chatting on Afri-chat. That is how I loaded this card and flashed my friend’s number. Then I decided to call someone else. After speaking for like 30 seconds I heard ,
“your call credit is low, please recharge”.
I screamed in anger, frustration and shock. Mum shouted from the kitchen “kini yen?!” (what’s that).
I had no choice but to say nothing. Then I went to a corner unable to stop the tears flowing down my cheeks, punched 121 in anger and cursed when I heard “ if you want hausa, press 1…”. I continued punching the stupid codes for the stupid options, it was infuriating.
Eventually, I heard “ a customer care representative will attend to you shortly”. My dear reader, “shortly” long reach 30 minutes o. by that time, it was with effort that I kept the flame of my anger burning.
But today’s own eh, is the last straw. Glo almost got me lynched.
I wanted to visit my cousin’s house this morning. I have only been there once and it was at night then, so I was not really sure of the building. Before I left home, I called him and told him I was on my way. The line was very, very clear. I could even hear him breathing.
Fast forward to when I got to his street, I called him to ask his house’s number. I heard,
" crack…we… six…crack..craaaack…brown gate…crack..quick..went out…craaaack..cra…crack.”. I was shocked, standing in the middle of a residential street with no call center in sight.
I called like five times, same result. Rather than stand while people passing will continue staring at me I decided to walk down the street checking out the houses with brown gate and number six included in their number.
When I got to number six, brown gate. “ This must be it” I thought and entered the slightly opened small gate. Immediately, I backtracked because the house looked like nothing I remember.
By the time I got to number 36, I just felt a strong hand on my shoulder,
“what are you looking for?”
I turned, and saw a giant toad, complete with bulging eyes and croaky voice, “
I… I am going..”
“Going where? Eh ehn, you are one of those people that will look innocent but sneak in houses to steal abi?”
“Wetin happen Oga Cletus?” one of the three busybodies passing asked.
“Na this girl oh, I don dey follow am dey look how she dey open gate dey check out houses”
“Ehn!”, the woman among them shouted. By this time like ten people have stopped to get the gist.
“So, fine girl like you sabi dey work wayo? Nna ehn, this life!” she ended by clapping her hands the amebo way.
“Ah!, I thought to myself, “this is heading o jungle justice!”
“ Who are you working for?” asked a soldier-like man.
“Pl…please, I am not working for..”
“What’s going on here? Hey, oga Cletus! Na my cousin you hold so? Wetin she do?” That’s my cousin, arriving in the nick of time. ( actually, his name is Nick ).
“Na your cousin?” Toad asked, then turned to me “why you no talk before?”
“Why I no talk?! Why I no talk?!” I screamed in relief and rage ,” no be here you dey hold me we I dey tell you say na my cousin I wan meet?!”
“ Why you no call am sef?” one motherly looking lady asked.
“I did! I did, the number they crack”
“Oya call am back” came a suggestion from someone.
I dialed again, set my phone to loud speaker and we heard “the number you have dialed is currently switched off…”
“But my phone is on!” exclaimed my cousin.
Globacom, thunder fire you! And I must divorce you by all means!
Lol.....
ReplyDeleteAhahahaha
ReplyDeleteI swear real thunder sef